We humans have some interesting requests about what to do with our remains after we die. Some people choose to have their ashes spread at their favourite place – a decision the Walt Disney Co. has been trying to discourage at its theme parks for years – while others opt to have their remains shot into space for a sizable fee.
A growing number of Canadians are choosing cremation over burial plots – about 75 per cent today compared to about 50 per cent 20 years ago, according to the Cremation Association of North America. Cremation gives loved ones more options regarding what to do with the ashes, from scattering them in a special location, storing them in an urn or having them set in jewellery. Green burials – in which bodies are buried in a biodegradable shroud or casket – are also becoming increasingly popular.
While there may be more options, estate experts caution there are rules around what you can and can’t do with human remains, and ways to manage the request in your will and estate.
“Make sure people know what your wishes are. Otherwise, they might do something else with you,” says Carol Willes, director of estate planning at BMO Private Wealth in Ottawa.
She recommends people include funeral wishes in their wills, as well as a “letter of wishes” and their health-care directives (informally known as a “living will”). She cites an example of a mother who was cremated before her surviving children received a copy of her will stating she wanted her body donated to science.
“Sometimes, the family doesn’t know – and that can be a big problem,” Ms. Willes says.
She encourages families to have uncomfortable discussions about what they want done with their remains.
“Families often don’t have trouble talking about what will happen with their stuff when they die, but when it comes to talking about personal remains, they can get jumpy,” she says.
People also need to understand the impact of their human remains requests before declaring them in a will, including the cost and whether it’s doable. For instance, Ms. Willes says many people opt to donate their bodies to science, yet not all research schools want to take them. People also need to provide the proper consent before they die to have their organs donated for research purposes or transplant.
There are also various rules about where bodies can be buried or where ashes can be scattered in different parts of Canada. For example, in Ontario and British Columbia, it’s illegal to bury a human body anywhere but in a designated cemetery. A way around the rule is to have the area legally created as a permitted cemetery.
There are no federal or provincial regulations prohibiting people from scattering cremated remains on land, sea or by air. If it’s private land, you need permission from the land owner. Ms. Willes says municipalities across Canada may have different rules.
The executor’s role
Akua Carmichael, vice-president of estate planning and services at Estate Stewards Inc. in Toronto, says the executor is responsible for handling the disposition of human remains when there is a will. However, in some cases, the deceased’s family may challenge the executor’s actions.
For instance, Ms. Carmichael says family members may want an executor to make funeral arrangements other than what was requested by the deceased in the will, for religious reasons.
In Ontario, the executor isn’t bound by these outside pressures, or even the deceased’s wishes, as long as the body is disposed of in “a decent and dignified manner, avoiding undue expense, and family members are informed.”
In British Columbia, there is a priority list of people with the right to control how the body is disposed of, starting with the personal representative named in the deceased’s will, Ms. Carmichael says. However, people other than an executor – including the deceased’s spouse, adult children and other family members – are also on the list.
Another difference is that in B.C., an executor may be obligated to follow the written preferences of the deceased if certain criteria are met. However, if these preferences or requests are unreasonable, impracticable or would cause hardship, she says there is no obligation to honour them.
Some people pay for the services, whether a burial or cremation, stating their preferences in advance to lessen the chance of not having their wishes fulfilled.
Ms. Carmichael says one of the ways to reduce the likelihood of conflict or spurring a court fight over one’s remains is to communicate burial wishes clearly in a will or prepaid funeral services contract and discuss them with loved ones.
“You want to make it clear to your executor, family members and involved friends so that everybody’s on the same page,” she says. “And then, also consider whether it’s practical, both in terms of what you want to be done with your remains and the cost.”
