Opinion: A case for more public washrooms in Squamish

It happens to the best of us.

You’ll be scanning the cucumbers at the Squamish Farmers’ Market on a casual Saturday, when suddenly the bacon and scrambled eggs that you washed down with a thick cup of black coffee come calling.

Your knees go weak, you clench your cheeks and for some odd reason you feel as if you need to walk on the balls of your feet. Sweat drips on your forehead and you hide your worried eyes behind your Pit Viper sunglasses, attempting to avoid the utter embarrassment of literally losing it in front of several hundred people.

But quickly, you recall, a public washroom awaits you at Junction Park only a little ways away. You tap your market partners and give them the look that needs no words. You dash away on your toes, head down, gently yet swiftly moving your legs in a beeline toward your saving grace.

You open the door and, by the hand of God, there’s an open stall and—

Actually, maybe I don’t need to explain the rest of that story. Let’s just say all’s well that ends well.

You know, they say, don’t poop where you eat. But I say, what if pooping where you eat is one of your only options?

Most of the businesses in downtown Squamish are perfectly happy to open their stall doors to those in need. Believe me, I’ve made my fair share of pit stops.

And major props to these businesses for not requiring “purchase,” unlike some other countries I’ve been to. But just as it is equally annoying to have to step into a place of business to do your business, I’m sure it is equally annoying for a business to realize that you’re just there to do your business.

Thus, public washrooms become the number one place to go number two when in a (literal) pinch.

I’ll give it to the District of Squamish, they’ve installed more public washrooms in recent years — especially near popular recreating areas — and they even have an online map with the location, type and hours of operation.

But there’s a case to be made that we could be best served with more permanent options.

While I don’t expect the self-cleaning toilets of Montreal, perhaps another off-sidewalk option in downtown like those in San Francisco can ease our boisterous bowels when Junction Park is out of range. Though this may seem like an odd request, I’m sure it’s one that everyone can get behind.

Because when you got to go, well, you just got to go.